As part of a school retreat, Molly*, 16, and her classmates stayed at a camp for a few days. The rooming situation: A small group of students were assigned to each cabin, except for one trans student, who had been taken aside and quietly asked to sleep in the camp infirmary, Molly would later learn.
The reason: No small group felt comfortable sharing a space with someone who identified as trans. Not knowing what to do, school administrators asked the trans student to put their bags in the nurse’s office and sleep there.
“There’s still a lot of bias under the surface,” Molly says of her private Jewish day school.
Molly, who is queer, is still in the closet because of bias and backlash. Her school identifies as progressive, but acceptance seems to have limits. She’s also not out to her family, as they haven’t been supportive of the LGBTQ+ community in the past.
She began questioning her identity around age 9, and after quarantine, started exploring it more seriously. Along the way, she found a community of people who made her feel at home.
“Finding like-minded people has been really powerful,” she says. “Knowing there’s a space where I can be myself, even if I’m still figuring out who that is, means a lot.”
That space, for Molly and many others, has been Teen JQSA (Jewish Queer Straight Alliance), the first community-wide LGBTQ+ Jewish youth group in Los Angeles, run by JQ.
Founded in 2015 by Rabbi Jon Hanish and Rabbi Bill Kaplan, both of whom live in Los Angeles and saw many Jewish teens struggling with their queer identities, Teen JQSA brings LGBTQ+ and allied Jewish teens together for community, connection, and learning. The group hosts social and educational events, wellness workshops, Jewish holiday gatherings, and even a queer prom. For many teens, it’s the first time they’ve felt seen.
“We’re not just creating events,” says Michael Bronstein, JQ’s Youth Program Manager. “We’re creating space. Teens come to a Shabbat dinner or a movie night, and they suddenly feel seen, maybe for the first time. It’s powerful.”
That’s what Raphi*, a rising senior, found when he joined the Teen JQSA board this summer. He came out at school when he was 13 and remembers the subtle ways his peers othered him.
“It wasn’t like movie-style bullying,” he says. “It was weird jokes, snickering, someone drawing a rainbow on my desk. It just made me feel different.”
After several school changes and some homeschooling, he finally landed in a more accepting environment and got involved with JQ after two other friends nudged him.
“Now I get to help plan events like queer prom and Shabbat gatherings,” he says. “It’s honestly so nice to feel like I’m not the only queer person.”
In addition to youth programming, JQ offers a suite of support for parents, caregivers, and educators, recognizing that it’s not just teens who are navigating this journey. One of these cornerstone resources is JQ’s support groups, which bring together LBGTQ+ individuals and their loved ones on a monthly basis in safe, confidential spaces to ask questions, learn, and find community.
The Nourish and Nurture support group and the Supporting Transgender & Gender Diverse Family Members group focus specifically on giving parents a space to express their concerns and queries during their children’s identity journeys. A new psychoeducational parent program is also on the way, designed to give families practical tools for supporting their teens with compassion and clarity.
Teachers and school staff play a critical role, too. That’s why JQ regularly partners with Jewish schools, synagogues, and JCCs to provide faculty trainings on LGBTQ+ inclusion.
“Everyone says they’re an ally, until you ask them deeper questions,” Michael says. “We teach educators how to recognize microaggressions, how to affirm students, and how to truly create inclusive classrooms.”
Raphi has experienced the difference good educators can make.
“Some teachers just let identity be something you can bring up or not, and it’s chill. But others really listen and make sure you’re heard,” he says. “That makes all the difference.”
One message echoed by JQ’s teens and staff: It’s okay to question who you are. High school is often when identity exploration begins, and that includes questioning gender and sexuality.
“If you’re questioning, that’s totally normal,” Michael emphasizes. “Don’t be ashamed of that discomfort. Lean into it. You’re not alone.”
Molly and Raphi both stress the importance of giving yourself time and finding your people.
“I didn’t have a stable friend group until last year,” Molly says. “I had to step back and let myself grow, emotionally and socially.”
“Your support system matters,” Raphi adds. “If you’re being targeted, don’t be afraid to tell an adult. And stay connected to people who remind you how awesome you are.”
And for educators looking to support queer students more meaningfully, Molly has a simple request.
“Be there when it matters,” she says. “Use the right pronouns. Give grace on an off day. You don’t have to be best friends with your students but you can still show them that they matter.”
At its core, JQ exists to make sure no queer Jewish teen has to navigate these years alone.
“You don’t have to have everything figured out right away,” Michael says. “It’s okay to question, to be unsure, to take your time. What matters most is knowing there are people and places that will support you as you grow.”
Learn more about Teen JQSA, support groups, school workshops, and JQ’s full range of youth and family services.
Molly* and Raphi* are pseudonyms, used to protect their identities.
